I found myself googling “what to do if you are snowed in” as I drank my first couple sips of coffee this morning. The little ones were already cranky and I knew that going out to the park was just not going to be an option today or any day this month and I was looking for help… on the internet. Turns out you should tackle those to-do-list problems you’ve been avoiding and long forgotten projects that are half done, at least that is what the digital psychologist recommended and I followed suit. I painted a wall that was an ugly color. I fixed something that I damaged over a year ago. It got me to contemplating life choices, like all hand-on projects do. I’m in love with home projects but perhaps the things worth the most work aren’t things at all, but people and relationships. If I can spend 10 hours painting my walls to make them prettier can’t I spend 10 minutes loving my neighbor?
I’ve really been struggling with how social media and marketing often call for white-washed realities to hep our clients and friends to like us more. Are we always smiling and happy on Instagram? Yes. Are we actually happy 100% of the time? No. We’ve all been guilty of presenting an artificial/ hallmark pretty portrait of our lives and that is depressing. Who can live up to that standard? Quite frankly I think that it impacts us to our deepest psyche when we feel that we are the only ones who don’t have magical designer worthy lives and homes. So yeah, I painted a wall that was an ugly color but I’m showing you a pretty real color of my mind and life. I don’t have it together, not even a little bit.
It’s a small thing that needed fixing and yet it took over a year. For the last year it has reminded me of a time I was really scared: my daughter was injured, I couldn’t believe I didn’t save her in time, and the mom guilt reared itself in a very ugly way. I was mad at Luke for not saving her, I felt like I had failed as a parent to keep her perfectly safe. I, with all my researching, veggie cooking, book reading mom efforts, was unable to cope with my own humanity. So here I am, a year later, thinking about how we damage things and people around us all the time. Somehow, we tend to notice it more on things that are precious more quickly than the people who are precious to us. The first scratch on the engagement ring, a dent on a new vehicle, or a hole in a cute shirt, all feel so important to us. But sometimes we miss when we damage to a person we love. It can be as simple as a careless word to a friend, a forgotten invitation, or a criticism of those closest to us. But these are the damages that should be the first things we decide to fix and given priority over the ugly wall color.
More than a chip in a dish, a dent in a truck, or a hole in a shirt, relationships are worth repairing. Loved ones are worth the effort of an “I’m sorry”. So, as I painted over the damage, I caused I thought, what relationship in my life needs a little fixing? Wow! There is a lot of room for improvement! I love to talk and sometimes those words that flow from my mouth aren’t encouraging at all! I love to tell jokes but I need to be careful that the laugh doesn’t come at the expense of someone else. So maybe this Valentine’s week should be full of Romantic love and gifts as well as some Healing love!